Monthly Archives: April 2011

Overwhelmed and Inadequate

(I’m pretty good at getting my laundry to this point, but the whole folding and putting away business is over-rated. Who needs dressers when you can just pick through the pile for new clothes to wear? Seriously though, how do you all keep up????) This ginormous laundry pile pretty much sums up how I feel […]

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Wendy M - April 26, 2011 - 6:24 am

First of all, you are seriously one of the most amazing moms I know. Really! Believe me, I know how you feel, but just look at everything you ARE doing, not what you aren’t getting to at the moment.
Second, I will just share that I’ve stopped folding most of the laundry…instead, I bring it out when Darin and the kids are in the living room and they do it. I know Gabe is a little young, but he can sort it into piles and match up socks and carry it into his room. If you are like me, you have the least amount of clothes in the load, so why should you have to do ALL the work? :-)
Third, feel free to call me if you ever need to vent…it really does help…

Anita - April 26, 2011 - 8:34 am

Kara, do you remember a similar venting post I made? I feel your pain sister. I feel lots better, but my house is not any cleaner, and last night I didn’t sleep one full hour because of Aila and Pax waking up all night long…
I guess maybe venting and talking about it relieved some of the pressure.

You know when you got a problem and the first step is admitting the problem. That’s the only step I’ve made so far…haha. But I feel good because I feel change is on the horizon. ( and the problem I am talking about is that whole orginization thing…)

I think having some order in life can really make a difference. It’s not that any of those problems like babies needing to be held 24/7 go away, its just I think it makes it easier to cope with it….

and I will second all that Wendy said, you are fabulous and an amazingly optimistic fun to be around person, its okay to have some moments like these!

kara - April 26, 2011 - 8:34 am

You are sweet Wendy. I actually did have the kids help me put all of the clothes away the other day, and they thought that it was so fun. Chris turned on the timer to see how fast they could do it. Wendy, I used to have built in venting time with our walks/runs. I miss those!!

kara - April 26, 2011 - 8:37 am

Anita,
I really wish you guys lived closer. I think that not having family in the same town is hard (even harder for you guys living so far from family). It’s just hard to get breaks. I need my mom to come up and get me organized.

juliette - April 26, 2011 - 10:32 am

I can wash it, dry it and fold it but I cannot, cannot put it away. My family has even started looking in the laundry room for clean clothes BEFORE they look in their dressers; there’s just a much better chance that there will be clothes there.
As for the hyperparenting in this town, yeah! I know!

adrienne w - April 26, 2011 - 11:11 am

EVERY mom has those days. And if they say they don’t, they are lying! I’ve been having weeks of those days lately! Here’s what I’ve learned: It doesn’t do any good to beat yourself up over every little thing. We have little kids and babies. Our houses will NOT be anywhere near perfect and that is okay. But I think that sometimes feeling inadequate helps me to be better. I don’t need to have a perfectly clean house, but I would like to do better in certain areas and that “guilt” helps me strive to improve. Does that make any sense? I’ve been feeling so out of balance these last couple of weeks with our move and I’ve been a terrible mom. So last night I made sure that I nurtured my spirituality a little more and it’s AMAZING how much better I feel today. So simple, but I still forget sometimes. As for laundry… I’m okay at getting it cleaned, but folding it and putting it away is another story. Most of the time we just live out of the laundry baskets and then I HAVE to put them away in order to do more laundry! It’s a never ending cycle.
I think you are fantastic and you do so many wonderful things!!

Katrina - April 26, 2011 - 1:05 pm

It’s so nice to see there are other moms who don’t quite follow through with laundry. And, Kara, I still think I want to be like you when I grow up.

Belinda - April 26, 2011 - 7:31 pm

Both Kara and Anita. Hang in there girls. Your kids need you now. So what about the other things. Who cares. One day they’ll grow up and be gone. Enjoy this time with THEM. However, I do know this. You need to somehow take some time for yourself. Even if it’s to sit in the bathroom and cry. It’s your time. So take advantage when the grandparents are around. Let them take the kids off your hands for awhile. It’s a win -win situation.
Love you both

kara - April 26, 2011 - 8:45 pm

Juliette,
I never even mentioned that I never.. repeat never fold socks. If someone wants socks, they have to go through the sock basket. Thus the reason that my kids are always wearing mismatched socks :)
Adrienne,
You have had a lot on your plate oh lets say…. the last few years :). I am amazed at how you hold it all together.
Katrina,
Man, I really miss you in this town. Really, when the weather is nice, come play and bbq in our yard on a Saturday.
Belinda,
Thanks for the encouragement! I took time to go to Zumba tonight, and I am feeling a lot better!

Sarabeth - April 26, 2011 - 11:19 pm

I totally hear you, and obviously lots of other moms do, too. I’m the same with laundry – can’t stand the folding/putting away part. And Steve’s work/sleep schedule is also somewhat random, which really can make structure difficult.

People often tell me “don’t worry about all that, your kids are more important”, etc., but what I’ve found is that when my house is a disaster and there is not enough structure, it stresses me out and I become a not-so-great mom. I’m not saying we have a strict schedule or that my house is squeaky clean (trust me, it’s not…I’m constantly wondering how OTHER moms keep their houses so clean). I guess it’s just finding that balance that works for you.

And you’re right – tomorrow is a new day :)

Amanda - April 27, 2011 - 12:13 am

KARA – We all feel like this…not that that makes anyone feel any better about their shortcomings, but you are amazing! When you feel overwhelmed just remember that you feel that way BECAUSE you are a good mom. You do so much for your kids and give so much of yourself. And maybe you should come here with Miriam for some R&R. You can see how chaotic my house is and feel so much better about yourself!! love you! Call me sometime soon when the kiddies are in bed. I feel like we need to catch up!

kara - April 27, 2011 - 8:16 am

Sarabeth,
I agree about finding the balance. I honestly can handle when my house is a little chaotic (maybe part of being from a big family??), but when there is laundry, dishes piled up, gross bathrooms, and crap all over, it weighs on me and I feel overwhelmed.
Amanda,
I will try calling you tonight when the kids are asleep!

Sara - April 27, 2011 - 9:35 am

Kara,

I cant totally relate to feeling overwhelmed and it’s hard when feel so out of balance. If you want to start those morning walks (I can even try slow running if you want) again we can do that (but if it’s just one more thing to do I totally get that too). I know exercise sure helps keep me grounded. Also, if Sofia wants to borrow Lily’s tutu outfit (I bought it when the kids store in town went out of business) I can bring it down for her. Let me know, K?

Lots of love to you and take some deep breaths my friend. Hugs, Sara

kara - April 27, 2011 - 3:11 pm

Oh Sara,
You are so sweet. I seriously lucked out having you as a neighbor!! Walks would be great. I think for the next month or so, the easiest for me is weekend mornings (maybe around 7:30). I know you are with family a lot, but if you ever have time on a weekend morning, I would love to go with you. As for the tutu, I think we are good since she only has 3 classes left, but I will let you know if we need it for some reason! Thanks so much!

Rachel - April 27, 2011 - 7:56 pm

Yep, that’s me! Always feeling like I could be a better mother, friend, professor, sister, daughter. I like to spend the last few minutes of my night before I fall asleep analyzing how I have disappointed everyone that day. Last night, I fell asleep thinking about how I had talked too much on the walk that I went on with Anne.
HOWEVER, lately I have been thinking about how critical I am of myself and my eating and exercising (or lack of) habits. I remember 3 years ago I was weighed 30 pounds less than I do now and I finished my first triathlon. Actually, even then I thought I weighed too much and could have done better in the race. My new resolution is to the end the day thinking about something that I did that day that was GOOD for my health (and ignoring the bad things). Yesterday I went on a walk with Anne and got a black drip coffee instead of the blended fru fru drink. Today I went on a walk with Seamus and only had 1 cup of coffee instead of 3.
My advice, think about all the good things you did today as a mom. Ignore the laundry and the outfit, think about the fact that you actually have clean clothes somewhere in your house and that you are actually leaving the house even with a tiny baby. It took me four months to do that regularly. :) When I become rich and famous, I am going to have 2 big dishwashers. One for clean dishes and one for dirty. The intermediate step of putting them in cabinets is such a waste of time.

kara - April 27, 2011 - 10:37 pm

Rachel,
I love your honesty. I will totally go away from being with friends or even baby class sometimes feeling super self conscious of how spastic and talkative I get. I so agree that it is great to have vision and goals but that it is also important to like yourself in the moment too. It’s like the women who will never buy new clothes because they are waiting until they are 20 pounds lighter (and many continue to wait for years). I need to work at accepting myself in the moment.. even with all of my flaws, because I know that I have a lot of good things I do too. OH,and I think that your dishwasher idea is great. Next to laundry, unloading my dishwasher is probably my least favorite thing.

nancy - April 28, 2011 - 8:58 am

Kara, as everyone else has already said, You are an Amazing mom! When I saw you had a new blog post up today, I thought, “How does she DO it all?” I think if you peaked inside any mom’s house right now you’d see dirty dishes, bathrooms that need to be cleaned, and laundry piles… and a mom feeling inadequate about it. But it all gets done eventually, and your kids aren’t going to look back and say, “The cookie-baking and art projects and dance classes and fun outings to the park were okay, but I really wish mom had spent more time cleaning.” ;)

Amie - April 29, 2011 - 7:27 pm

I FEEL YA! I dont think that there is a day that goes by that any women doesn’t feel inadequate! So the laundry piles. Kids still have clean clothes right? Exactly. So with new baby and demanding one at that, give yourself a break! I would be delighted to have the kids and baby over they could all play in the mud. Please do. yes I have tons going on but who doesn’t? Besides for me the more the merrier! Hang in there. The laundry, dishes and the house will always be there. However the kids will remember what you have done for them. You are setting an awesome example and only one thing is missing you time!

Frankly Entertaining

Happy Monday everyone!! Head over to Frankly Entertaining to read my guest post “Saying Goodbye to Picky Eaters.” I worked with Christina and Sarah in college and I love reading their cooking blog, so I was excited when they asked me to do a guest post! Let me know what you think, and I would […]

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Jaime - April 25, 2011 - 9:40 am

Kara that’s awesome!!!
Sorry I didn’t call you back the other day. My phone doesn’t like to tell me I have a voicemail until I am roaming. I would love to be interviewed by you! I don’t really think your readers wanna know about a gal like me but it would be fun to be on your blog!

Margaret - April 25, 2011 - 6:44 pm

Great post Kara! Just read it and commented.

kara - April 27, 2011 - 4:23 pm

No problema Jaime,
The next time that we see you.. Chris will have to snap some cute pics of you! I am thinking that I will take the kids into his studio with their capes this week!
Margaret,
Thanks dear friend!!

It’s a bird! It’s a plane, it’s… Sofia, Gabe, and Clem!!

Super heroes united!!   On their way to save the day! Gabe’s real super hero power may really be talking your ear off until you surrender :). Like father like son. Right Evan?? Cutie pie by day… batgirl by night. We had fun visiting with Jenny Pine (the kids never just say Jenny, it’s always […]

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Amanda Nemelka - April 23, 2011 - 10:52 pm

Where did you get the bat costume. fancy!

kara - April 23, 2011 - 11:20 pm

Ahhh.. there are benefits to being married to a super nerd :), but you know that too :).

Amanda - April 27, 2011 - 12:17 am

ummm….Chris must be in a league of his own, because Jeff isn’t THAT nerdy. JUST KIDDING. really, though…that is one great costume.

chris - April 27, 2011 - 8:35 am

Jeff is my nerd inspiration! He still has one of Karl Malone’s shoes, and he still talks about having to give the other one away. Nerds unite!

Rolling in the Deep

Now this is a song that I am definitely not embarrassed to like. If I haven’t mentioned this already, I really really wish I could sing like this. I swear I sound like this in the car when no one else can hear :).

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Amanda Nemelka - April 23, 2011 - 10:46 pm

I’ve been obsessed with this song! love it!

Mondisa C - April 27, 2011 - 12:12 pm

She’s got such a powerful stunning voice! I’ve heard the song before, but I’ve never really listened to it until now. I can understand why you like it.

kara - April 27, 2011 - 4:25 pm

Isn’t it great. I love when the glasses shake to the beat of the song. I also love that she is so amazing.. she doesn’t have to dance around or be all crazy… she can just sit and sing and still rock it!

Question For the Mamas (and Papas)… What song do you wish you didn’t love??

I have quite random taste in music. If you go to my old blog www.corvallissillymama.blogspot.com, you can check out my playlist to see for yourself. You will find pretty much everything: country, folk, r&b, motown, broadway musicals… (you probably won’t find hard core rap or heavy metal).  I was talking to a friend awhile back, […]

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Karli - April 21, 2011 - 8:18 am

I remember when we were in Jr Miss, you calling “How Could I Live Without You” by Leann Rimes the “co-dependency song.” I totally agree, and yet I LOVE to belt it out when it comes on:
How could I live without you, I want to know?
How could I breathe without you, if you ever go?
How could I ever, ever survive?
How could I, how could I, oh, how could I live?

I will admit though, that since meeting my husband and even more 9 years after marrying, I understand the sentiment a little more :)

KHarker - April 21, 2011 - 8:29 am

Okay, I’ll play along with ya, but I can only think of one right now and that’s all you’re gonna get from me because I need to get off the internet and go prepare dinner (yes it’s early to be preparing dinner but I have people coming over),

Avril Lavigne’s Complicated. I know it’s lame but I can’t help but sing along with it. “Chill out whacha yelling for…”

“Why’d ya have to go and make things so complicated, I see the way you’re acting like someone else gets me frustrated. Life’s like this you, fall and you craw and ya break and you take what you get and you turn it into honesty and promise me I’m never gonna find ya fake’n”

Ahh yes, deep words from Avril.

Ben Gibbard does a live acoustic version of this song (partially being sarcastic) and it’s funny so I just say I’m singing his version because then it’s less embarrassing :) But at the end of his rendition he says “I don’t really know what is so complicated about this situation, I mean it’s obvious this guy just doesn’t like her very much and is himself around everyone else but her.” I thought that was funny.

alright the end.

kara - April 21, 2011 - 8:37 am

Haa.. oh ladies I would not be above singing along to either of those songs.. even the co-dependency song Karli :).I forgot about that :).

adrienne w - April 21, 2011 - 9:03 am

First of all, Kara, I laughed out loud when I pictured you and Chris singing Endless Love! It reminded me of a few years ago when I was privileged to hear the two of you singing Shakira’s “Hips Don’t Lie” while berry picking! Love it!!
Okay, so one of my guilty pleasures is Hilary Duff. Eeek. Embarrassing, but I really liked her Metamorphosis album. Any album with a song called “Sweet Sixteen” should not be in a 30-year-old-mom-of-four’s library, but alas, it is. I just love the song “Come Clean.” I don’t know what she’s done since, but I still like that album.
Another one is Fergie. Seriously, now those are deep lyrics. “Big Girls Don’t Cry?” I was going to try and pick out the dumbest lyrics, but I couldn’t narrow it down. My favourite part though is:
“Like the little school mate in the school yard
We’ll play jacks and Uno cards
I’ll be your best friend and you’ll be mine
Valentine”
Honestly, who ever played Uno on the playground??
I’m sure I’ll be thinking of songs all day.

kara - April 21, 2011 - 9:15 am

Shakira…maybe I should be embarrassed about her, but I’m not :). Wow, I am going to have to check out Hillary Duff :), and yes, it is funny for a 30 year old mom to have sweet 16, but I am smiling thinking about you singing along. OH, and I have a weird relationship with Fergie. I can’t stand her on one hand, but I have totally caught myself singing along to her.

Wendy M - April 21, 2011 - 9:57 am

My list is waaaay too long for this forum. :-) Think anything by Hall and Oates and that will give you an idea of my cheesy playlist. My top pick, though, would be “I Just Want To Be Your Everything” by Andy Gibb. It reminds me of when I was a kid and is very fun to sing along to the falsetto he hits in the chorus.
“I…I just want to be your everything,
open up the heaven in the your heart and let me be,
the things you are to me,
and not some puppet on a string.
I…if I stay here without you darlin’ I would die,
I want you layin’ in the love I have to bring,
I’d do anything,
to be your everything.”
(Please don’t bring this up to Darin, though…you wouldn’t believe the eye-rolls I get from him when I sing it! :-)

nancy - April 21, 2011 - 10:50 am

Oh, you’re playing with fire asking this question! These songs will be in your head for days, if not weeks.
I will sing along to any Neil Diamond song. I have even been known to sing ND karaoke. Sweet Caroline, Song Sung Blue, and my personal favotie, Shilo.
Young child with dreams, dream every dream on your own. When children play, seems like you end up alone. Papa says he’d love to be with you, if he had the time…
Neil was pretty much the soundtrack of my childhood.

Sunny - April 21, 2011 - 1:13 pm

Alright Stop, collaborate and listen the Ice is back with my brand new invention…I could go on! Yes it is Ice Ice Baby by Vanilla Ice. I really like that song for no good reason and every time “Under Pressure” comes on the radio I get excited thinking it’s gonna be the Ice but it’s not just the same beat.

kara - April 21, 2011 - 2:29 pm

Oh, my heart is filled with joy imagining you all singing along to your songs.
Wendy,
Andy Gibb.. I don’t know who that is, but I am going to listen right now.
Nancy,
Neil Diamond… I love “Forever in Blue Jeans.”
Sunny, Excellent choice. I am going to have to tell you the story sometime about how I danced to that song in a college speech class :).

Angela - April 21, 2011 - 3:58 pm

Oh Sunny and I could sing Ice Ice Baby for you and you can show us your dance moves. We have been known to collaborate a few times!

My song of choice is Baby Got Back. SOOOOO good, in a really bad sort of way!

On this topic… if you really like old school hip hop, rap, pop, etc (from around the Sir Mix-a-lot era) 104.7 does a throw-back during the noon lunch hour.

Jill Harpham - April 21, 2011 - 6:23 pm

Okay I have caught myself sisnging to allot of those songs. One of my favorites is YMCA by the Village People. I picture myself singing with those hot men, yes I still think those sexy 70′s men are hot!!! Plus I used to work at the Y so, it brings back a few of the memories from there.

kara - April 21, 2011 - 8:58 pm

I just went to Fred Meyers and I found myself singing loudly in an aisle by myself : “Two hearts… two heats that beat as one.” Ha… that Lionel Ritchie and Diana Ross get me every time :).

Margaret - April 21, 2011 - 9:23 pm

Oh the list is long. And I agree with you on Taylor Swift…she is fun to sing along to. Off the top of my head:
My most recent is Justin Bieber. My niece loves him and I spent a week with her two weeks ago and now I find myself singing his songs in my head. Previous to this I knew not a one of his songs. Yikes.
And I still love a good sing-out with N*Sync or Backstreet Boys.

Oh and one that is a bit mixed feelings…I always liked that Chris Brown song “Forever” so when I hear it on I’ll start singing it but then I remember that he beats up his girlfriends and change it but it is stuck in my head.

And don’t forget Secret Garden:
Oh Dicken, I want it all to be Wick. Would you come and look at it with me?
I’ll come everyday rain or shine if you want me…

kara - April 21, 2011 - 9:30 pm

Margaret,
I still don’t know any Justin Bieber songs… so if you had to recommend one.. which would it be :)? That dang Chris Brown beating his girlfriend. I fell in love with Chris Brown when he sang the most adorable song on Sesame Street and like you feel quickly out of love when I heard what jerk he is. Oh Margaret, there is no shame or embarrassment in “The Secret Garden.” That made me laugh so hard remembering our accents:).

Missy - April 22, 2011 - 4:23 pm

I swear every time I go into Safeway I hear the Scorpions’ ‘Winds of Change.’ Have to admit that I’ve loved that song since I was about 10. Still love to whistle along.
Another – not sure the artist…Lady in red….is dancing with me…cheek to cheek. There’s nobody here, it’s just you and me. It’s where I wanna be. But I hardly knoooooow…this beauty by my siiiide. I’ll never forget the way you look tonight. LOL

Amy Mayfield - April 22, 2011 - 4:39 pm

There are oh so many, but seeing all these lyrics typed out is cracking me up. So, without further ado, Poison!

I know I could have saved our love that night if I’d know what to say
Instead of makin’ love, we both made our separate ways
Now I hear you found somebody new
And that I never meant that much to you
To hear that tears me up inside
And to see you cuts me like a knife
I guess every rose has its thorn
Just like every night has its dawn…SING IT!

Adrienne - April 22, 2011 - 5:27 pm

OMG. This is great, like a crazy group counseling session. Ok, GunsnRoses, Patience: AND, I HAVE to do the whistling before the singing for sure!
Shed a tear ’cause I’m missing you
I’m still alright to smile
Girl, I think about you every day now
Was a time when I wasn’t sure
But you set my mind at ease
There is no doubt you’re in my heart now
Said woman take it slow
It’ll work itself out fine
All we need is just a little patience
Said sugar make it slow
And we’ll come together fine
All we need is just a little patience
(inhale) Patience…
Ooh, oh, yeah

kara - April 22, 2011 - 8:11 pm

I wish that we could all get together and karaoke to our songs. That would be so awesome!