PeasandHappiness

The cover doesn’t bother me much. I am desensitized from living in the Valley, though. I know a number of people still breastfeeding their 3+ year olds and it doesn’t phase me. I actually felt like quitting after 15 mos with Seamus was probably thought of as too early by some around me.

The thing I don’t like is the title. It implies that moms who don’t breastfeed are some how less of a mom and that REALLY bothers me. Breastfeeding means that you as the mom cannot be away from your baby for more than a few hours, that you are totally responsible for feeding your baby day or night, that you have to freakin pump if you do go back to work, that you will question every food you put into your body, etc., etc. Right now I am spending over 3 hours a day with a baby breastfeeding on my body. That is a lot of responsibility and really something that only privileged moms can do for years and years. Also, some women just can’t, and you know, it is really a decision between a mom and her baby–not our business and not our place to weigh in with an opinion. I love living in a place that is so breastfeeding friendly, but sometimes that friendliness comes with a dark side of judgmental attitudes for moms who don’t go that route. Okay, I’ll get off my box.

Rachel,
This would be a hard community to live in if you weren’t a nursing mama. I think that nursing is a privilege, especially for mamas who breastfeed past the first year and not all mamas can do it (or have support to do it even if they want to). There can definitely be a judgmental vibe out there, and I have seen it many times (but hopefully haven’t been too much a part of that vibe).
Karli,
Yes, they are trying to start mommy wars. If there is one area that women can be fired up, it is about there children. I really like the last line in the article that you said that says, “Let’s stop quibbling about what competent mothers are choosing for their kids, and step it up for the kids that don’t have one.” Obviously we all have opinions about what is best for our own family, but there are many many competent parents out there perhaps making different choices than me. I am doing what feels right for us, and everyone else should do the same! Like the article said, there are much grander issues to fight for than whether or not a woman uses an Ergo baby carrier .

One thing I didn’t like about the article was that it painted attachment parenting in general, and Dr. Sears specifically as militant. The whole idea that moms could have PTSD from not living up to his ideas seems ridiculous. One thing I’ve liked about his books is that every chapter says something like “these are ideas that have worked for some people, here are a variety of ways to implement these ideas, but in the end, you have to do what feels right for your family”. I cannot/do not choose to follow strict attachment parenting but I felt like his advice always made me trust my gut which is so different from how I have often felt reading other parenting books. Of course, YMMV.

I just hate extremism. I didn’t read the article, because it was obviously going to be sensationalized based on how they chose to portray it. What I don’t understand is why anyone cares how others choose to parent, as long as it’s safe. You don’t want to breastfeed your 3 year old? So don’t. There are a lot worse things going on in the parenting world than that. I also don’t understand why parenting has to have a label. I do a lot of these things, but I don’t feel the need to classify my parenting style. Actually, until the year or so I’d never even heard specifically of Attachment Parenting as a theory. I breastfed each of my kids for 12 to 14 months. We had a lot of challenges with it, so I felt lucky to do it for that long and didn’t feel at all bad about stopping. But I know A LOT of women who weren’t able to breastfeed (not their own choice) and they are heartbroken at the thought that they might not be as bonded to their baby because of something like that. We can’t assume that they have lost that opportunity because of something beyond their control. I used a sling a lot with my last baby, but that is because she loved it and as you mentioned, Kara, it was just easier. And I co-sleep with my babies a bit for the first 6 weeks or so, but again, I do that out of convenience. I don’t sit and analyze how much good I’m doing my baby or how much harm I’ll cause if I don’t. I’m just parenting. I stopped reading parenting books in general, with a few exceptions. I’m trying to focus more on what I feel is best. I feel like now, expecting baby #5, I have hit my stride and feel good about most of what I’m doing. When I have a specific problem, maybe I’ll do some research and see what suggestions are out there. Parenting is not black and white. There are a lot of ways to parent and it’s ridiculous to think that any one method is far superior. We should all be more understanding of each other and quit worrying about what other people choose to do.

As an adoptive mom, I was (maybe obviously) extremely offended by the headline. As for the nursing, whatever works for families is my motto! No judgment here…