Monthly Archives: July 2013

Stay-at-home mama or working mama?

Three months ago, I started working 25-30 hours a week. Up until that point, the most I had ever worked as a mom was 8-10 hours a week. More seasoned mamas who work full-time may find this wussy, but the weeks I worked 30 hours, I started to ¬†feel a serious lack of balance in […]

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Kelly - July 17, 2013 - 9:54 am

Kara,
It sounds like you’re all really at peace with the decision which means it’s the right one! The best advice I got about working (but has extended to my personal life as well) is not to answer requests for 24 hours. I am a yes person as well and it’s too easy for me to bury myself in responsibilities that are not important to me. So, whenever a request or invitation can wait, I sleep on it and ask 1) is it something I would enjoy doing? 2) is it something that I will be able to do (time, skills, politics etc.)? 3) will it have an impact on things that are important to me? 4) am I the most appropriate person/only person for this task? and 5) what’s the cost/benefit ratio? In other words, if this is a committee that will take a lot of time and because I’m junior, I won’t have much of an impact on, I say no. Alternately, if something is really close to my heart and I am excited to do it, then the same amount of time invested is well worth it. However, you can’t do all this calculus in your head in the 30 seconds you have to answer someone in person so my stock answer is “I’ll think about that/check my calendar and get back to you”. I also postpone by asking more questions which also provides data for my calculations.

All that said, working definitely makes me a better mama. As you noted for yourself as well, it makes me more conscious about being present and makes me a happier, more fulfilled me. The flip side is that being a mama makes me better at my job, too. Kids provide much needed levity and perspective. Kids make you constantly strive to be a better you – such a challenge and a gift. Good luck in striving to be your best self in all your roles.

Sonia - July 18, 2013 - 7:43 pm

I can totally relate to this! I think the idea of constant balance is a myth. Some days in my work/family life feel more balanced than others. I try to look at it on a bigger scale: weeks and months. Fitting in time with friends on top of it is really challenging! I too have gone from stay-at-home to working-mama, and my relationships with friends have definietly been affected. It’s somehting I want to spend more time on, but there are so many things I want to spend more time on! It does get easier. : )

kara - July 18, 2013 - 11:08 pm

Kelly,
I love your checklist for answering requests. I will be using that. I am getting better with the saying no (especially now that I have less hours to work with), but I still have a ways to go!
Sonia,
Even though I miss friends a lot and wish I could see them more (and have my kids play with other kids more), the good thing is that I am kind of past the stage where I need as much social/adult interaction. When my kids were really little, I went nutso without my girlfriends. They saved me some days. Now the older my kids get, we have found more of a family groove, and although seeing good friends always helps fill my cup up, I don’t go thirsty without it. I’m glad it gets easier. It already has gotten a bit easier, but it still feels like a lot trying to juggle it all sometimes!

Happy Summer!!

It’s time to play catch up friends. I have been so busy living my life, that I haven’t been able to squeeze in time to write about it. These pictures are all from our time at the coast last week. We stayed at a beach house for the 4th. Our niece Kira came along with […]

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Jesse - July 10, 2013 - 8:38 pm

Beautiful! What beach did you go to?

kara - July 10, 2013 - 9:25 pm

Jesse,
We stayed at a beach house south of newport in between Ona beach and Seal Rock. These pictures are closer to seal rock!

adrienne w - July 15, 2013 - 10:25 pm

Yay for an update! I love that Oregon coast so much! We should plan to meet you guys for a few days next summer there. So what exactly is Chris’ new calling? Are you guys going to a Spanish Branch or Ward or is it just a group within a regular ward? So fun that you are attending in Spanish.

Business in the front… party in the back!

I’ve heard story after story of little girls who go a little wild with scissors on their hair. I smile and chuckle a little when I see the cute little pixie cuts or crazy short bangs. Sofia never cut her hair. She did cut a big chunk of our friend Marianne’s hair, but Marianne has […]

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Wendy M. - July 11, 2013 - 7:14 am

She’s completely adorable, no matter her hairstyle! (Oh, and while I’m quite sympathetic, I’d like to point out that Allison had barely grown any hair by the time she was Miriam’s age. :-)