PeasandHappiness

Oh, babies! I also love babies, but I haven’t really had a chance to get baby hungry, because I always have my own. I’m really lucky to have super easy babies, which makes newborns so enjoyable for us.
When I was young I always wanted lots of kids, because I enjoyed being one of six kids, but by the time I got married, I always thought we’d have four. And now I have five. So in some ways I have more kids than I thought I’d have. I wanted to be done at four, but we both felt like we weren’t done and that was hard for me. But I knew that I would hate to live with the feeling that we should have one more. The timing of a couple of our babies has been a surprise, but I KNOW they were supposed to come when they did. And of course I wouldn’t change anything now. It is crazy at our house, but I really do love it most days. And five kids isn’t a whole lot harder than three was. It’s all hard work. In some ways I feel like this wasn’t my decision, but the Lord’s and I am willing to accept that. And enjoy it!
As far as being done… We just got rid of all the baby stuff we aren’t using and it felt really good. It didn’t make me sad. I think we’re done, but with our crazy fertility, I have to know that more babies are a possibility until something REALLY permanent is done. And if we’re supposed to have more, then we’ll deal with it. We’ve discussed becoming foster parents when our kids are a little bit older. We have friends who foster only babies and we’d both like to do that.
I feel a lot of judgement from others about my tons of kids, but I don’t let it bother me. I also sometimes feel jealous of others who feel they are done at 2 or 3 because of logisitcs (housing, travelling, one on one time, etc), but I just try to focus on the blessings that my babies are and be the best mother I can be.

Kara – this is a perfect Mother’s Day topic! It has also been on my mind lately, so thanks for putting out the questions in your blog! I decided from an early age that I would have 2 kids. I came from a family with 2 kids, so I think that this was what I knew. I waited a very long time to have kids. I wanted to be married, to have already enjoyed time alone with my spouse, to own a home and to have our finances in order. I was very traditional in the way I went about starting a family. There’s really not much about my family that’s traditional. Now, 5 years later, I have a beautiful 10-year-old daughter that we adopted through the foster system at age 4 and a son, who is now 3, that I gave birth to. About a year after giving birth to my youngest, I starting longing to be pregnant again. I had mixed feelings about this longing. I also thought that I would adopt, if I wanted to have more. I feel a strong moral and social responsiblity to adopt. I still very much long to birth another child. Now that I am newly divorced, this picture feels much more complicated. I don’t want to give up this desire to complete my family!
I love babies. I love how I felt when I was the Mom of a wee one! The breast feeding hormones made me feel so content, looking into my baby’s eyes while nursing, the intense bonding with other mom’s of newborns for survival. It was definitely one of my favorite times in my life! Kara, you talked about how you bond more intensely with your husband during this stage. That made me realize how I reach out to both old and new friends much more in this stage. I have such a big community and stay connected when I have a baby!
I have loved all the stages since infancy, with both my kids! I would like for them to have another partner in crime to share their childhoods and adulthoods with!

Oh Kara. So much, so much I want to say. BUT, it is late.

So let me share this one thing. For me, part of the compulisive draw towards having a newborn (that I STILL feel OFTEN) is that having a baby provides the rare opportunity to “fall in love”.

I fell head over heels in love was with Scott. Then when Tanner was born it was like falling in love all over again. Then again with Sage, and Elliette, and Asher. FALLING IN LOVE is so fun! The newness, the thrill, the giddy excitement, the discovery, the indescribable joy that comes from realizing you can’t/don’t want to live another day without them and are ready to commit your whole heart, soul, and being to them.

It’s a rush. It’s nourishing. It’s bouyant. It’s new and fun and exciting. It’s energizing. It’s HAPPY.

But just like a marriage must eventually move past the “honeymoon” phase, so too must the parenting.

The thought of having another baby thrills me. Have another baby tomorrow? YOU BET! What could possibly be better than another pure and innocent newborn? Another person to fall in love with? YOU BET! Sign me up. Another baby to snuggle, and nurse, and cuddle? YOU BET! Another baby to help and watch learn to sit, crawl, walk, talk? YOU BET! Witnessing the joy of discovery that accompanies babies is one of the greatest joys in life.

We have 4. We are done. It was a tough transition, but the right one.

So much to say . . . but that’s my one point for tonight. One of the reasons why saying goodbye to babies was tough because it was also saying goodbye to the thrill of falling in love.

This was a very interesting post for me to read because I’m at the opposite end of you, Kara, and everyone commenting. I’m newly married (well, we’re coming up on our 2nd wedding anniversary), nearly 33, and childless. My husband and I feel pulled to start our family now (especially since I’m getting older) and we have ideas about what that family will look like – how many kids, etc., but since we’ve never experienced any of it ourselves, we truly have no idea how we’ll feel about it all, how many kids we will end up wanting, and such. We love, love, love being married and we so enjoy our life together just the two of us, so I’m always wondering if I’ll be as happy when we have a family and our lives and hearts are pulled in a million different directions. It’s nice to read, though, how much all the women commenting on this post love having babies – and love their husbands throughout it all. As we embark on this stage in our lives and in our marriage, it can be pretty scary. I’m glad to have the Internet to learn from seasoned moms such as yourselves!